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The Nerd: It's Cinemassacre's Monster Madness! Godzillathon!

The Nerd: Oh, man. Son of Godzilla. Now we're really getting started in a very weird sort of way. Depending on which way you look at it, Son of Godzilla is either one of the worst or one of the best.

The Nerd: The setting is, once again, on an island. But here, there's a research team doing weather experiments. Lucky for them, the place is roaming with giant mantises. (known as Kamacuras) When a giant egg is discovered, the mantises break it apart and it turns out to be Godzilla's son, who looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy. (a picture of Pillsbury Doughboy appears next to Godzilla's son)

The Nerd: He continues to get the shit kicked out of him until finally his dad shows up and beats the hell out of all the mantises. (Godzilla fights clones of Kamacuras and breathes fire at him) Bam, bam. Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! What now, bitch! During the fight, he lets his son get hit in the face with a rock and drags the poor little guy by his tail. After the fight's over, he clobbers him and walks away. Doesn't even care about his newborn son. Worst parent ever. But then he comes back and gives him a little ride on his tail. So, it's all good. People usually refer to the son as Minya or Minilla. But in the movie, I don't recall them ever giving him a name.

The Nerd: There's lots of great moments like this scene where Godzilla's trying to sleep and his son plays jump rope with his tail. He trips and Godzilla wakes up like, "What the fuck are you doing?" (Godzilla wakes up and growls) And he gives a little head nod like, "Dad, go back to sleep." I could do commentary over the whole movie, but it wouldn't help anything. (Minilla falls to the sand and throws a fit) Okay, well, here's another favorite part of mine. Whenever he doesn't wanna listen to his dad, he shakes and makes a squeaking sound. (makes weird squeaking noises) Like... (chuckles) Godzilla just drags him and tells him to shut the fuck up. (Godzilla drags Minilla by his tail)

The Nerd: There's another scene where he tries to teach his kid how to breathe fire, even threatening to hit him. Man, what a mean dad. But the poor little guy can only puff smoke rings. That is until Godzilla steps on his tail. (Godzilla does just that, causing Minilla to breathe out atomic breath) Now, rather than try to narrate the entire movie, I guess I better just shut up and let you go watch it for yourself. The final scene involves a giant fight with a spider, and the ending in the snow is actually one of the most heartwarming scenes I ever saw to feature rubber suit monsters. Beneath Godzilla's tough exterior, you'll learn that he really does care about his son.

The Nerd: Overall, the movie is actually quite enjoyable. Some people say it's one of the worst, maybe it is, but I say go check it out for a good laugh.

(Godzilla roars)

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