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Godzillathon_-22_Godzilla_Vs._DESTROYAH!!!!_(1995)

Godzillathon -22 Godzilla Vs. DESTROYAH!!!! (1995)

James Rolfe: It's Cinemassacre's Monster Madness! Godzillathon!

James Rolfe: And so we come to the final Godzilla movie of the second series. Godzilla vs. DESTOROYAH!!! While the second series was a great revival of the franchise, it was nice that they didn't let it drag on until it got stupid, and being that this was the 40th anniversary of Godzilla, Toho decided that this should be the last one, and so it came that Godzilla died. It was a big deal. It was like when Superman supposedly died, or when Beavis and Butt-Head were supposed to die, even though they didn't, but it was such a big deal that I remember hearing about it on the news, and this was in the USA, so what do we care? These movies weren't even being released here anyway, but still, the news of Godzilla's death heard around the world.

James Rolfe: But anyway, let's talk about the movie. It begins with one of the most incredible title screens ever. (the movie's title screen forms) That's awesome! The opening scene depicts Godzilla attacking, not Tokyo, but Hong Kong, and glowing red. What's wrong with him? Well, you remember how he was born from nuclear radiation? Well, his heart is a nuclear reactor and it's melting down. That's the actual explanation in the movie. I'm not kidding. This burnt form of Godzilla is also in the Nintendo Wii game, Godzilla: Unleashed.

James Rolfe: So anyway, his heart is on the verge of atomic explosion that'll blow up the whole universe. Pretty fuckin' extreme. Next thing, there's all these creatures running around which look like a combination of a scorpion, the Predator and Alien with a thing on the other's mouth. Scenes like this where people are being attacked almost makes you forget that you're watching a Godzilla movie and instead a B-horror movie. Well, all these creatures evolved from tiny organisms in the ocean. There's a scientific explanation how they were created by the Oxygen Destroyer, the weapon which killed the first Godzilla. It's a neat and appropriate way to tie the first movie with the last.

James Rolfe: So the monsters keep evolving until they all merge into one. The name of the monster, surprisingly, isn't Destroyer, it's DESTOROYAH!!! Yeah, that's the official name! DESTOROYAH!!! It's spelled just like that, maybe because they couldn't trademark Destroyer, but I don't know. So they send out a plane and it freezes Godzilla. It's actually a pretty cool effect when his face frezes, and once again, they send out the army to fight the giant monsters. It's been 22 damn movies and they still don't get it?! Give it up!

James Rolfe: Well, Baby Godzilla's back this time, called Godzilla Junior, and this time, he actually looks like Godzilla, and it's about time. Shouldn't he resemble his own father? He gets into a fight with the evolving DESTOROYAH!!! and actually beats him. Junior and Godzilla get together to celebrate, I guess, but then the final form of DESTOROYAH! makes his appearance. He looks like the goddamn devil! DESTOROYAH! grabs Junior and drops him into a building, then blasts it apart, basically killing him. He drags Godzilla all around and slices him up. It's actually pretty disappointing that Godzilla gets his ass kicked and that he never actually beats DESTOROYAH!. He sure fights back, but it's the army that ultimately takes him down. The hell? After it's all over, Godzilla finally starts to melt down, but the army uses their freeze cannons to cool him down so the explosion doesn't kill everybody.

James Rolfe: Surprisingly, watching Godzilla die is pretty sad, but all the energy from his body goes into his son, who grows to full Godzilla size. I guess they were hinting at another Godzilla series following the son, but they never followed up on that idea. The credits roll over black and white stills from all the Godzilla movies. It makes you feel sentimental. It really does. Anyone who thought that this was the last Godzilla movie had no clue what was coming. He was only taking a five-year rest. One thing left to say... DESTOROYAAAAAAHHH!!!!!

(Godzilla roars)

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