FANDOM


Omega Virus - Board James (Episode 20) Game Review

Omega Virus - Board James (Episode 20) Game Review

(Intro for Board James season 3 plays, which music came from the Key To The Kingdom and Battle Masters reviews, then we see a ton of Board games up in the attic as Board James looks into a dark area and turns on the light)

Board James: Let's play a game. I don't get to play very much any more, and I've been bored. Very bored. And when Board James is bored, I play some board games. You like board games, right? Well, let's check out the attic here and dust off some old memories.

(Board James puts all the board games from the attic and shows all the Board games in a dedicated room area.)

Board James: Wow, it's amazing all the stuff you can find. Childhood relics that have been locked away for so long.

Board James: Remember all of these, the Elvis board games? I don't. Elvis King Of Rock, Elvis Monopoly, Elvis-Opoly?! Do you think there's enough?

Board James: No Respect? Rodney Dangerfield gets his own game too? Where did I get this game? Let me see this. This is the ugliest board I've ever seen. That guy still gets no respect. What does stacking numbered columns have to do with Rodney Dangerfield? Has anyone ever played this?! Even the people on the back of the box couldn't take the picture without drinking whiskey.

Board James: Executive Decision? (James is shocked) Oh, dear.

Board James: Object of the game: as the top-level executive of a large corporation, each player makes monthly decisions regarding the purchase of raw materials and the manufacturing and selling of finished goods.

Board James: Wow, real exciting game. Somebody has no fucking imagination! Of all the things you can make board games about! Dragons, battleships, medieval armies, business management. All right, let's see what I got here.

(Board James picks up the Omega Virus game)

Board James: Yeah, now we're fucking talking! The Omega Virus. This is what you call a board game. It's the type of game my friends wouldn't want to play. It's too complicated. They called me a nerd for playing It. The moment you open the box, they say Oh shit, my mom's calling me.

Board James: Well, now it's not like I have anybody to play with anyway, because... never mind.

Board James: Look at the detail. This is a work of art right here. (Art is replicated with three astronauts shooting lasers) The instruction manual looks like a comic book. (It opens the Omega Virus comic book) It is a comic book. And instructions. This is amazing.

Board James: The year is 2051. The place is Battle-SAT 1 Space Station, equipped with lasers designed to protect the Earth from meteors. All of a sudden, the station is taken over by a computer virus. Class-8, omega...

'(The other two Board James are definietly the same and pops up in an angle direction)

Board James #2: self-replicating...

Board James #3: highly anthrophobic.

Board James: The virus aims the station's lasers toward planet Earth to annihilate all humans.mYou take control of the highly-trained commandos. The objective: find the virus and terminate It.

Board James: The only way to stop it is by finding three AVDs.

Board James #2: What, you don't know what AVDs are?

Board James #3: Anti-virus devices. Duh.

Board James: The negatron, the disruptor, and the decoder. The game works on a time limit. You can set it anywhere between ten and thirty minutes, depending on the patience of your friends. When the timer runs out, the virus takes over and everybody loses.

Board James #2: So you gotta play quick.

Board James #3: It puts a fire under your ass.

Board James: Before you can find the AVDs, you have to gain access to the colored rooms by finding access cards. So the more cards you have, the more rooms you can enter. When you enter a room, you explore it by punching in the room code.

(The electronic voices begin to hear)

Electronic voice: 0, 1, 0, blue access card found

Board James: Okay, I put in two to explore, and then one point, two points-

Electronic voice: Fifteen minutes until time. (The electronic voice laughs in a robotic-like sound)

Board James: I'm trying to put in the code! Shut up!

Electronic voice: 1, 2, 0. Probe found.

Board James: I found a probe robot. That's like having a second player, so you can cover twice the space. Oh, and speaking of which, to win, you want to be the first player to stop the virus, so it's a competitive game.

Board James #2: Imagine if there WAS a virus ready to destroy the Earth.

Board James #3: Couldn't they all cooperate?

Electronic voice: Blue, help me. (It began mockingly) Help me, help me, help me. Fool.

Board James: Shut up, Shut up! I'm trying to play the fucking game!

Electronic voice (in disgust): You human scum.

Board James #2: What's the point of putting in codes anyway?

Board James #3: How about just have a deck of cards?

Board James: Even better, put the cards on the rooms. One for each player. That way, you don't have to keep track of which rooms you've already been in.

Electronic voice: Yellow, help me.

Board James: But wouldn't you miss that voice?

Electronic voice: Help me, help me. Fool. (in disgust again): You human scum.

Board James: Not to mention, you have to keep track of a secret code that's unique to each player. If you hear your code after you've explored a room, that means the virus is in that room.

Board James #2: For that particular player.

Board James #3: Not for the others.

Electronic voice: Security breach! Security breach!

Board James: Oh no, the virus is attacking! Gotta defend by punching in two random numbers.

(Suddenly, the Electronic hear an explosion, followed by a laughing voice as the player knocks into the camera and begins to make it fast enough for the game. The three Board James appear at the same time playing too fast as it interuppted by another Board James using the gun and a sword and shoots the same Board James guys and turned them into a robotic face that looked like T-1000 from Terminator 2. Board James #2 shoots with the laser and it knocked off by a sword, followed by another shoot. The other Board James merged the sword and the gun into one and shoots all the same three Board James as a robot and killed instantly by a fire that is placed on the board game as the episode cuts to black.)

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.