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Lie Detector Game - Board James (Episode 21)

Board James: It's time to solve a murder case, with the help of a Lie Detector. This is a game that's been around since the 60s, but it's been re-released from time to time. I used to play it a lot as a kid. Line up the suspects, like the Artist, the Musician, the Gambler, the Secretary, the Psychic Reader, the Banker, and so on.

Board James: The object of the game is to be the first player to arrest the guilty suspect. Of course, I'm the only player today, because, well... You know.

Board James: Each character gives you a clue. On each of your turns, you get to examine one of them to see if they're telling the truth or not.

(The Lie Detector dings)

Board James: At the beginning of the game, you pick a guilty card at random and place it in the machine. The back side of the cards have a different suspect on each edge, which is secret to all the players. The holes allow the needle to pass through, so each game has a different guilty suspect depending on which way you put the card In. As you get clues, you turn face down any suspects that don't fit the description. It's a process of elimination, sort of like Guess Who, which was simpler. Two players try to guess each other's characters, by asking verbal questions and eliminating by knocking them down. The doctor says the person is angry.

(The Lie Detector dings again)

Board James: True... The taxi driver says eyeglasses..

(The Lie Detector dings yet again)

Board James: True... So it must be... the Racketeer. Use your arrest card, remove the guilty card from the Lie Detector, and there you go. You win an extra point for every suspect card that's still face up. You play another round, and the first player to become Chief wins. Some of the clues are kind of vague.. Flashy dresser... I'm not sure what exactly is considered 'flashy dressing'.. Friendly? HOW friendly? Skinny? Well, most of them are about average... How about this guy? Thick lower lip... looks like HE has a thick lower lip, is he accusing himself? I think it's the Taxi Driver. Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads...

Board James: Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads... Huh, I was wrong. See, things don't always add up. Let's try again.

Board James: Wears hat...

(The Lie Detector dings again)

Board James: Hmm.. True...

Board James: Brown hair...

(The Lie Detector dings again)

Board James: True... Blue eyes...

(The Lie Detector dings one more time)

Board James: True... I think I narrowed everybody down. Let's try the Fight Promoter.

(The card flips in and shows The Fight Promoter says: "Board James")

Fight Promoter: Hey pal, do me a favor. Read the back of the box.

Board James: What...?

Fight Promoter: Read the back of the box! Just do It!

Board James: Okay...? (Board James shows the back of the game box) Here are the suspects. One of them is guilty of a murder. You start as a rookie-

Fight Promoter: Guilty of what?

Board James: A murder. Crime. Whatever.

Fight Promoter: So it's a moider then?

Board James: I guess, I don't know. I always thought of it as a murder case. Who cares?

Fight Promoter: Everything's always gotta be a moider game wit'chu.

(Flashback to the Dream Phone episode review, where Bad Luck Bootsy and Motherfucking Mike shows in here at Bootsy's room.)

Board James (from Dream Phone): It plays like a detective game. Like, imagine if it's all about solving a murder case.

Fight Promoter: Let's cut to the chase. You killed your friends and you know It.

Board James: NO! It was the PHONE! The dream phone!

Fight Promoter: I think you're the one dreaming, buddy. Come on! A pink plastic phone?!... from a little girls' game?!

Board James: Yes, that's what happened!

Fight Promoter: How does a phone pick up a knife?

Board James: I don't know! That's what was so fucking weird about it!! I'm just trying to play a game!!

Fight Promoter: That's what you always say...

(Flashback to the end of the Shark Attack episode, in which Board James say in the line, screaming. Then, back at the Dream Phone episode saying back to James)

Board James (from Shark Attack): I'm bored, I want to play a fucking board game!

Dream Phone: I just want to play a game...

(Flashback again to the Mr. Bucket episode whereas the Board James sucks his finger into the toy's mouth)

Fight Promoter: And you're also gonna tell me there was a yellow bucket chasing you around...

Board James: Yes. Mr. Bucket, he was trying to suck my balls. I'm Mr. Bucket, balls pop out of my mouth...

Fight Promoter: YOU'RE the one with the balls always coming out yer mouth...

Board James (from Mr. Bucket): Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls! BALLS!

Mr. Bucket (in an evil voice): Your Balls!

Board James (from Mr. Bucket): Die! Die! Die, you fucking bucket!

Motherfucking Mike (from Mr. Bucket): What are you doing?! It's just a toy! Are you fucking crazy?

Fight Promoter: It was always you. You did it. You know you did it.

(The Flight Promoter along with the guilty suspect cards saying "You did it" at mostly random times.)

Board James: I didn't do it, I DIDN'T DO IT!!!!

Fight Promoter: Then see if I'm telling the truth, or are you too scared?

(Board James picks up the Flight Promoter card and puts in the Lie Detector machine. He picks up the needle and puts into the hole whereas Board James would become the killer. But the episode ends when you have to decide whether if they might picked True (Blue) or False (Red) as an interactive portion of the game. The end text of the video would said "Is Board James The Killer? You Decide.")