Who Framed Roger Rabbit - Angry Video Game Nerd - Episode 4
The Nerd: All right, I haven't played this one in a while, so, let's... give it a chance. All right, well, this is really an inconvenience, having to search for stuff. Look at this, you go around and you search for things. "Searching... it's empty". It's so slow. Now this is kinda fun though, you get to punch people. We're gonna beat up Roger Rabbit now. YEAHHH. The only thing that's really annoying is that it takes so long to charge that punch. AUGHHHHHH! You know what? It isn't fun. You know, i-it just isn't at all. It's just a pain in the fucking ass. "Can you help me?" "Go away, you horrid man!" How 'bout "Go away, you HORRID GAME!"?
Driving the car is really annoying because the control's so awkward. Then these weasels catch ya, and they make ya solve riddles. And they're always the stupidest riddles, too, like "What animal can you never trust?" "A cheetah." And how is this cat gonna kill you?! And look at this! Th-this is the longest password ever! Would it have killed them to make this any shorter? It takes forever! Like, why should any game, take like ten minutes to type in the fuckin' password?
So then you go into this nightclub and you find Jessica Rabbit, and then she tells you to go find her phone number, like she can't just give it to ya. So you go around and you search every table 'til you find it. And then, you know, I was lookin' all over this game, like where is there a phone where you can actually call her? And it wasn't until much later, when I grew up, that I found out you're really supposed to call her.
(The Nerd is talking to Jessica Rabbit on her phone.)
This is Jessica Rabbit? Well, I got your number and I'm callin' just to say "FUCK YOU!"
Jessica Rabbit: I hope you're proud of yourself!
The Nerd: Yeah, well, I hope you're proud of yourself, and you know what I mean, ya fuckin' whore.
Jessica Rabbit: I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.
The Nerd: Yeah, well, wait 'til I draw your suicide note in your own blood, you bunny fuckin' bitch. I'm comin' over and I'm gonna kill ya. I'm gonna kill your whole motherfuckin' family.
All right, well now I got that out of my system, let's continue with the game. So you go into the stores and, the way you buy stuff is ridiculous. You go up and then you have to, like, go through all your items 'til you select the wallet. Use the wallet, and then this item drops down and you go pick it up. Now there's only one item for sale at a time, so you have to leave the store, then you come back in and then there's somethin' different there. So if you're lookin' for somethin' in particular, ya have to keep leavin' the store and comin' back in. Like, imagine if in real life, like if I walked into a liquor store and I wanted Rolling Rock, and all they had there was Budweiser just sittin' on a box next to the counter, so then I have to leave, then I have to come back in again and then there's somethin' else, and I have to keep walkin' in and out the door 'til I get what I want. It's just... like, what were they thinking?
So you finally get the dynamite, and you come over to blow up this brick wall. And watch this, it's probably the best explosion ever. (PMMMMMM) Yeah, look at that. That was pathetic. So then you get to Judge Doom, and he's like impossible. And most of the things you have are just useless. You have a gun which really doesn't do anything. Y'know what? I'm not even gonna punish myself anymore with this piece of shit. All right, the game sucks, end of story; I wanna nail Roger Rabbit to the fuckin' cross.