("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays and ornaments numbered 1-25 are seen on a Christmas tree. A raspberry sound is heard and the cover to Treasure Master appears on the 16 ornament, along with shit.)

Treasure Master for NES. This is a surreal stream of consciousness that represents sensory overload to the video game-brained kid at the 80's. This is his fantasy. Everything awesome and rad that ever existed all comes to the party. There's covers where the artist didn't have enough time, but I think this is one instance where the artist might have had too much time. 'We gotta sell the game! What do we do? Sharks are popular! P-PUT A FUCKING SHARK ON THERE! How bout submarines and spaceships? Y-Y-Yeah! That's good! What about robots? GOTTA HAVE A ROBOT! and a spider on a circuit board? Uh, yeah! Do that! PYRAMIDS! MUSHROOMS! BUBBLES! THE TRANSFORMER'S GRID PATTERN! SPACE! What about treasures? Fuck it! Just have a kid with sunglasses and zibra patches, giving thumb up, smiling at the consumers, saying 'Yeah, you like all this shit?'

The kid is just as happy as the artist! Nobody is ever made such an amazing box art! It's win all the way around! It depicts narcissism! The kid is lookin' at you like, 'Yo, I'm so cool.' He is the treasure master, or, perhaps he's calling out to you in desperation, trapped in some kind of floating rectangle, sort of like General Zod prison thing from Superman 2. The game was created for a contest by MTV, in which gamers were put in a code, they complete the game and then they get a number to call it and win prizes, which make sense because this looks like something MTV barfed-up. You know Castlevania 3 also had a contest winner trip to Dracula's castle! Yes, Dracula's real castle. I bet that's where kid who won the Treasure Master grand prize ended up in Dracula's dungeon being tortured for all eternity.

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