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AVGN-_Bad_Game_Cover_Art_-24_-_The_Ultimate_Stuntman_(NES)

AVGN- Bad Game Cover Art -24 - The Ultimate Stuntman (NES)

("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays and ornaments numbered 1-25 are seen on a Christmas tree. A raspberry sound is heard and the cover to The Ultimate Stuntman appears on the 24 ornament, along with shit.)

The Nerd: Ultimate Stuntman for NES.

The Nerd: Somebody clearly wanted to create the most masculine cover ever. Guns, sports cars, throw it all in! The meat-headed message seems to be clear. Gun + car = AWESOME.

The Nerd: This is no ordinary stuntman. This is The Ultimate Stuntman! Is this a guy who does stunt work, or... does he go around shooting bad guys?

The Nerd: It's a stuntman turned action hero. Notice the big bird which is partly obscured by the words. It's holding a star as if to deliver it to the man. And something is randomly exploding behind him, just to break up the monotony. There wasn't enough going on.

The Nerd: How about the car? Well... it's a car, which makes perfect sense when juxtaposed against the squid, oh, w-w-WHAT?! A FUCKING SQUID?!? What is it doing?? Halfway hidden near the man's crotch! He's so macho, he's holdin' up the squid with his dick.

The Nerd: AUGH..God, I ca...I...I just can't look at it all at once! It's hitting my brain too hard! Let's view it just a bit at a time.

The Nerd: Okay, Ultimate Stuntman... A bird... action guy... I get it, I-I'm, with it still...uh... oh, oh, okay. That's where I draw the line.

The Nerd: If awesome overload was the whole point, then where's the hot chick? Where's the sunglasses, the dinosaurs, or robots? I don't think they got enough stuff on here.

The Nerd: Look at all the wasted space. This is one of those unlicensed games. It's one of those gold cartridges. The squid gets mostly cut off. If you had the cartridge without the box, you'd be wondering what the hell that is!

The Nerd: On the back it says "Do not drop. Do not get wet. Do not leave in direct sunlight." Can you feed it after midnight? Then there's that weird switch. What does that do? "Position B. Only use this position if the game does not work with position A."

The Nerd: Yeah... that makes a lot of sense.

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