Angry Video Game Nerd Wiki

AVGN- Bad Game Cover Art -20 - RollerBlade Racer (NES)

("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays and ornaments numbered 1-25 are seen on a Christmas tree. A raspberry sound is heard and the cover to RollerBlade Racer appears on the 20 ornament, along with shit.)

The Nerd: Rollerblade Racer for NES. Rollerblades, radical, radiant-blazing colors! That's the 80's.

The Nerd: That's what it was all about. All those who lived it, trust us. We can tell you. That chalk-patterned background, that's what the world actually looked like back then.

The Nerd: You'd be rollerbladin' with your flat-top hair and your rattail in the back, listenin' to Michael Jackson on your Walkman, slappin' high-fives with Voltron!

The Nerd: You'd be eating your Mr. T cereal and Pee-Wee Herman would come by and play Pac-Man with us. It happened all the time. It was so crazy, there wasn't even such a thing as temperature! No. The man's wearing a sleeveless shirt while the girl is bundled up like it's the middle of winter.

The Nerd: Don't judge a cartridge by its box. Check this out.

The Nerd: The cartridge has no background. I suppose the box was finished last. All it is, is a solid hot pink!

The Nerd: Let me tell you, in the 80's, that color was the most bodacious thing. You wanted hot pink! Seriously, our eyes were attracted to how bright it was! Look at it! The way it burns into your retina. That's awesome! GIMME MORE!

The Nerd: Nowadays, most people seem to associate pink with feminine, but back then it had nothing to do with that! Didn't matter if you're a boy or girl! HOT PINK, DAMN IT!

The Nerd: It's so vibrant that it's actually bleeding into the graphics! The labels on cartridges can fade a little. So imagine how pink it was when the game was new.

The Nerd: It was so fucking pink, it was made to last the ages.

The Nerd: The contrast on the people is boosted so much that they blend together. At first glance, it looks like both bodies have merged into an eight-legged creature.

The Nerd: Eight legs? Eight decades? THE EIGHTIES! This game is the living embodiment of the 80's!

(screen briefly fades out, before it comes up again with Nerd's holding a cell phone his hands.)

The Nerd: Uh, well, the game came out in '93. Well, fuck everything I just said.

The Nerd: Here's a hot pink screen for you to look at. Yeah, you like that? Yeah, stare at it long enough, you'll grow a mullet.