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AVGN-_Bad_Game_Cover_Art_-18_-_Hell_Fighter_(NES)

AVGN- Bad Game Cover Art -18 - Hell Fighter (NES)

("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays and ornaments numbered 1-25 are seen on a Christmas tree. A raspberry sound is heard and the cover to Hell Fighter appears on the 18 ornament, along with shit.)

The Nerd: Hell Fighter for NES. Is that a title or what? HELL FIGHTER.

The Nerd: I like the way the title's zooming into the foreground, glistening like shiny steel. That's the way you do it.

The Nerd: Without much else to look at besides a plain blue background, let's get straight to the point.

The Nerd: It's simply a naked man holding a skull. Has this guy been doing some bodybuilding or what? He's so buff that his muscles take on alien features. Look how pointy his knee is. And his hand completely disappears into the light aura of the skull. The skull is not very pronounced. The glow needs more transparency so you can make it out. Why is he holding a skull, anyway? He's staring at it like, "yeah, I like death!"

The Nerd: The crotch is bulging out from the tiny underwear which is conveniently covered by the text oval. Somebody clearly looked at it and said "we can't show that. Cover it up."

The Nerd: Which makes me wonder, has anyone seen the original art? Hmm. Even the Japanese version blocked out the crotch. The whole world was saying "hey, man, put on some damn pants."

The Nerd: The sword looks like it's sticking in his ass. He has no belt. Nothing to strap the sword onto, unless you buy that it's hanging on the back of his thong. It's in his ass! You heard of Sword in the Stone? This is SWORD IN THE ASS!

The Nerd: He shits green rocks. What do you expect? The guy is so macho all he eats is stones and minerals. He shits them out, and the dragon's licking at 'em like "yum yum!" Ugh, God... (Nerd frowns) Hell Fighter? Looks like Hell to me!

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