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AVGN-_Bad_Game_Cover_Art_-14_-_Crackout_(NES)

AVGN- Bad Game Cover Art -14 - Crackout (NES)

("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays and ornaments numbered 1-25 are seen on a Christmas tree. A raspberry sound is heard and the cover to Crack Out appears on the 14 ornament, along with shit.)

The Nerd: Crack Out for NES.

The Nerd: This is what happens when you smoke too much crack. This is clearly nothing more than a bad drug trip, or it's just a bad ripoff of the game Fast Food, or it's just the Twizzlers mouth making every possible appearance it could in the 80s. Your eyes have no room to rest on this cover.

The Nerd: The way it's tilted, I can't look at it without going like this (tilts head sideways).

The Nerd: It gives you a dizzying effect. It feels like you're flying into its world, rushing into the simple one-point perspective as the objects on the receding planes come whizzing towards you. Eyeballs! Teeth! Skulls! Gloppy drops of mustache bubbles! Neon cannonballs bouncing off the walls! This cover screams "WHAT THE FUUUUUCK!?!?"

The Nerd: God damn! Help me out here! What's going on!? This cover is so intense!

The Nerd: On the cartridge, they had to cut off the skull, just to give us a little break, yet the alternate placement of the Nintendo Seal of Quality allows us to see the green guy popping up from the hole in the floor. He looks so frightened. See? Even he couldn't take it!

The Nerd: Where in the universe or multiverse would a place like this ever occur? Well, if you don't dismiss all possibilities, then just for the sake of existence, woah! A brick tunnel full of baby blocks flying out from the far reaches of space! It has no beginning and no end. An infinite zooming chaos! But if you look far into the background, that tiny white space, is that a wall? Are we going to smack into it like a bird hitting a plane? Or is that an open doorway? The light at the end of the tunnel. A white purgatory! Could you imagine going from one extreme to the next? First, it's over-stimulation and then, complete sensory deprivation.

The Nerd: This artwork is a metaphor for life! It's crazy, but then one day, it's all gone.

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