AVGN Bad Game Cover Art 4 - Action Fighter (Sega Master System)

AVGN Bad Game Cover Art 4 - Action Fighter (Sega Master System)

("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays and ornaments numbered 1-25 are seen on a Christmas tree. A raspberry sound is heard and the cover to Action Fighter appears on the 4 ornament, along with shit.)

The Nerd: Action Fighter for the illustrious Sega Master System. A masterpiece, undoubtedly. Let's begin with the title.

The Nerd: Action Fighter tells you everything you need to know. Action suggests battles, shootouts, vehicle chases and explosions!

The Nerd: The single word action encompasses everything we expect in a game on the primitive subconscious level.

The Nerd: Fighter. What do you know? A generalization of more the same.

The Nerd: Action implies fighting! Fighter implies action! No two words in the history of civilization have so eloquently overstated one another.

The Nerd: There's no question of what kind of fighter this is, not an idle, casual, go with the flow kind of fighter. The Nerd: Could this game by any chance be...ummmm...some kind of puzzle game poker? NO!

The Nerd: Action Fighter dammit! Just to make sure without any doubt you know what it is!

The Nerd: BOOM! Action Fighter! It hits its mark more effectively than a cow pissing on a flat rock!

The Nerd: It's well worthy of the trademark. That's right! Patent that shit!

The Nerd: It's so brilliant, you wouldn't want anybody stealing that name!

The Nerd: This isn't just any cartridge, it's the mega cartridge, also trademarked. Notice how the G droops down and touches the mega. That's class! Look how the background grid enhances the obviousness of the condensed kerning.

The Nerd: And then there's an image on the cover too righ...oh yeah, that's it!

The Nerd: It's down there! It occupies less than a quarter space of the overall canvas. Nothing suggests action and fighting more than a magnifying glass on a highway! This is a special magnifying glass that doesn't make things larger. Instead, it forces the perspective into a Hitchcock vertigo effect.

The Nerd: Is this really an action game? Or some kind of detective game?

The Nerd: It seems the detective is using the magnifying glass while driving!

The Nerd: Rather than shutting down the street and getting up close to survey the area, this detective is gonna fly right through, emphasizing the importance of high-speed action over tedious scrutiny.

The Nerd: The lack of details on the buildings intensifies the feeling of tunnel vision to be focused on one point, rushing to a particular goal, a clue!

The Nerd: One vital clue that we so eagerly wish to have! The cover leaves you in suspense! What is the clue? Is there a clue? Did the human being who made this have any clue!?

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