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Pac-Man_2-_The_New_Adventures_(Sega_Genesis)_-_Angry_Video_Game_Nerd_(AVGN)

Pac-Man 2- The New Adventures (Sega Genesis) - Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN)

(A ska cover of the Angry Video Game Nerd theme plays, composed by The Casual Friday's.)

The Nerd: I played fighters, shooters, racers, fighters, beat-'em-ups... fighters... You know when you've played a King Kong assload of shitty games like I have, it feels like you've played them all, with just a different title. I want somethin' new!

(The "Look!" message appears on-screen at random places, with voice commands saying it as the Nerd looks over.)

The Nerd: Who said that?

(Then, the status screen from Pac-Man 2 appears on the bottom as it holds by a sling-shot and three Rolling Rock beers on the left, and "Nerd's Room" on the right, The shoot cursor targets the Nerd as the sling-shot throws the Pac-Man 2 game off-screen, hitting the Nerd.)

The Nerd: Pac-Man 2: The New Adventures? Wow! I guess I'm gonna play that now! In Japan, this game was released as Hello Pac-Man!, published by Namco. However in the North American release, the game had a bit of controversy around it. In the 90's, a company named Accolade developed and published their own unlicensed Genesis games by reverse engineering the lockout chip. This pissed Sega off, who in '91, sued Accolade not once, but twice. They eventually settled, and allowed Accolade to become a full Sega-licensed publisher. This also pissed off Nintendo, because Accolade was releasing so many games on their bitter rival's platform.

The Nerd: So Accolade made another company, Ballistic, to get around publishing limits with Nintendo. And they all got this weird cheap sticker slapped on the label. The most common complaints I've heard about this game, are controlling Pac-Man's mood swings, while pairing vague tactics to solve each level. If you're lucky enough to have the booklet, there's some hints in the back. In the front, the game is glorified as "the world's first interactive cartoon". You guide and help him with Namco's innovative Character Guidance Interface, also known as CGI, not to be confused with the other CGI abbreviation. There's definitely a masochism tone that makes the game feel counter-intuitive to play.

The Nerd: What the fuck? We're friends now, after shooting shit stones at his face? That's a good way to get your ass-kicked, if you don't put someone's eye out first. Oh, I mean come on, that looks like it hurts! Oh, right there?! Oh-ho-ho! Damn! Okay, so the first mission is to get Pac-Baby some milk from the local farm. Seems simple enough.

(Pac-Man milks the cow, and then holds up a bottle of milk in excitement.)

The Nerd: Well, that wasn't so tough. That witch is pissed.

(The Witch zaps the Pac-Man ghosts and they turn invisible. The Nerd notices the eyes resembles the letters "FF.")

The Nerd: Wait, those eyes. F-F? Fred Fucks? Could it be? The next mission is getting a flower for their friend Lucy's birthday. This time ya have to take a lift to the mountains and... What a hassle! This game starts to ramp up the cryptic difficulty. Unlike other point-and-click and decision-based games, this one takes it to another level, by making you a secondary God-like co-op to Pac-Man. Right here, if I don't intervene, he will just walk off this cliff like a fucking lemming. Or here, every detail is important, and the slightest fuck-up can happen, from almost anything in the environment. You gotta be super vigilant.

The Nerd: This FUCKING hang glider is the SHITS. It's an exercise in frustration with NO checkpoint. Luckily, there's infinite continues, but every time I get an inch further, I just fuck up and have to start all over. It's a kick in the sack... and what a shitload of fuck that was to get this stupid-ass flower. Oh and also, before you can leave this level, you need to find three ID cards. There's some secrets littered around too, like that pack pellet or, stale-ass pizza? Gross. You can also tell ghosts are nearby, because their eyes are on certain objects. Eventually, after a metric ton of bullshit, you return back with the flower, everyone's happy. But guess who's not?

(Pac-Man shrugs at him.)

The Nerd: I'd be more pissed than upset, hang gliding in hell for a fucking flower I could've gotten from a store! I guess seeing as all the stores in this world are closed, Pac-Man HAD to go the top of some god-forsaken mountain to get them. Not like flowers happen ANYWHERE else besides MOUNTAIN TOPS! The third level is where Pac-Shit starts hitting the fan for Pac-Man. The ghosts have stolen Pac-Junior's guitar. Now ya have to go to the city, and hunt down those motherfuckers. The city has a huge array of things to interact with and, for something that should only take minutes to do, it feels like HOURS go by. By this time, you'll notice things that are REALLY outta place, like this fuck. To get Junior's guitar, ya have to turn into Super Pac-Man, and fuck up the ghosts. After defeatin' the ghost, you take the guitar back.

The Nerd: Okay, so now we're on the final level and, this part... is just weird. The Witch is collecting ABC gum? Already been chewed gum? Why? That's nasty, man! You eventually find your way into the evil Witch's science lab, and come across the number sequence for the ID cards when you collect them all. (Pac-Man turns around to the camera, and does his emotional outbursts.)

The Nerd: (angrily) Fuck this game, and fuck Pac-Man! I have the ID cards, the number sequence, and he STILL just goes and FUCKS things up! What a pain in the ass it is to micromanage every...

(The status screen from Pac-Man 2 appears once again. The shoot cursor targets the Nerd as the sling-shot throws a bottle of Rolling Rock off-screen, hitting the Nerd. He picks up the Rolling Rock bottle, smiles and then drinks it.)

The Nerd: So, there are a couple good things about the game. One, it has unlimited continues, and two, the password system is pretty helpful. If you fuck up, and wanna go back to get it right, you can pretty easily. Every moment of the game generates a password you can find in the menu. However, if you wait too long, Pac-Man gets pissy.

The Nerd: Okay, now, the final boss... Yeah, it's definitely the cu... g-GUM monster, it's definitely spelled with a G! I mean, look. We all know what it looks like! Let's all just grow up and get our minds out of the GUTTER! Now this dick hole, shit-encrusted, poopy fuck-fuck final boss, isn't really too hard to beat. As long as you avoid his arms, stay in Super Pac-Man mode, and keep shooting the fuck out of the cu... g-GUM monster's face, until he goes back into the gross gum pit he came from.

The Nerd: I finished this game at 21%, which goes to show there is so much more to it if you have the time and patience.

(The Pac-Man 2 status screen appears one more time, and the cursor shoots random sprites from Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures around the Nerd as he concludes his review.)

Is it a shitty game? Well, sort of, but... sorta not! It's different, it's in acquired tastes. It's a radical jump from the fast-paced simple maze games we all grew to love, so maybe if they just didn't call it Pac-Man 2, it would've gone over a lot better. It's an interesting game, it's worth having in your collection. You just gotta put up with Pac-Man's emotional outbursts and, just.... separate it from the original Pac-Man, that's all.

(The Nerd becomes pixelated and the "Look!" message appears around in random places.)

The Nerd: W-What the fuck? What the fuck?! Oh! Oh, what the FUCK?!

(The episode is revealed to be a game played by Kieran, who shuts off his TV. He holds up the game, titled "AVGN 2: The New Adventures" with the Nerd depicted as Pac-Man.)

Kieran: Man... FUCK this game.

(Kieran throws the game on the floor and the episode ends.)

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