Mr. Bucket - Board James (Episode 8)
Board James: You remember Mr. Bucket, right?
Motherfucker Mike: Yeah, that commercial was on like, all the time.
(The Mr. Bucket commercial plays on the computer with children laughing and we see a Mr. Bucket animation going into the window)
Kids: Mr. Bucket!
Mr. Bucket: That's right. I'm Mr. Bucket! ♪ I'm Mr. Bucket, toss your balls in my top I'm Mr. Bucket, out of my mouth they will pop I'm Mr. Bucket, we're all gonna run I'm Mr. Bucket, buckets of fun! ♪
Narrator: The game's Mr. Bucket! The first to get their balls into Mr. Bucket wins, but look out! Cause the balls will pop out of his mouth!
Mr. Bucket: ♪ I'm Mr. Bucket, the balls pop out of my mouth I'm Mr. Bucket, a ball is what I'm about I'm Mr. Bucket, we're all gonna run I'm Mr. Bucket, buckets of fun! ♪ (Kid: I win! I win!)
Narrator: Mr. Bucket! From Milton Bradley.
Mr. Bucket: ♪ Buckets of fun! ♪
Motherfucker Mike: That is so wrong. How could they sell that to kids?
Board James: Well, I mean, you know, it's our dirty minds that twist it around that way. It's not as bad you say--
Motherfucker Mike: Not really, I mean it actually says in the commercial "pops balls out the mouth", it's not--
Board James: Well it doesn't say like, "put your balls in my mouth", it's not, you know...
Motherfucker Mike: Yeah, but, you know... well like, what do you think it means? There's no way you wouldn't think that if you're watching it.
Board James: Well, all it means is, you toss the balls in his top and then the balls pop out of his mouth. That's it.
Motherfucker Mike: Eh, whatever. It's sick. You actually have that game though, don't you?
Board James: I do. I have Mr. Bucket.
{The box of Mr. Bucket is shown and the box opens the toy)
Board James: Here it is. Just an innocent little toy for kids.
Motherfucker Mike: Can I see it? Look at the big red nose, it looks like a drunk or a child molester or something.
Board James: Yeah. All right, so you just put some batteries in, you turn it on, and watch it go. That's Mr. Bucket.
Motherfucker Mike: It looks like it's doing the moonwalk.
(Both Mike and James begin to scoop up the balls and puts in for Mr. Bucket)
Board James: You just gotta scoop up your balls and... get them in his top like that.
Motherfucker Mike: Well, why can't we just throw the balls in?
Board James: Like that?
Motherfucker Mike: Why do we have to use this? Yeah.
Board James: Because, uh, that's how the game is played. (Motherfucker Mike laughs)
Motherfucker Mike: This is so stupid. Do I have to use a green shovel to pick up the green ball and only the blue--
Board James: Well, technically yes. Say I have a yellow shovel, that means I can only-- you can only scoop up yellow balls with a yellow shovel.
Motherfucker Mike: Yeah, well what happens if I scoop up a red ball with a blue shovel? Do I get a penalty?
Board James: I don't know.
Motherfucker Mike: Yeah, OK, wow. So is this it? This is all there is to this?
Board James: Yep, this is pretty much it.
(Mike looks into the box and he picks up the Mr. Bucket instruction booklet)
Motherfucker Mike: There's gotta be something else. Let me see here, it's the instructions, let me look.
(Mike reads the instructions then Board James looks at it)
Motherfucker Mike: Dude, look at this. Read this right here.
Board James: Oh, this part right here? Mr. Bucket is a battery-operated game to be used only with the special balls enclosed.
(James is overshocked)
Board James: As opposed... to... balls...
Motherfucker Mike: Well, that's enough for me. Um, I've had it. I'm gonna get going.
Board James: OK.
Motherfucker Mike: If you don't mind. See you later.
Board James: All right.
(As Motherfucker Mike leaves, we see Board James frustrated and we cut into the night whereas James looks in the computer and the sound of crickets chirping)
Board James: Poor choice of words used by the announcer which may be mistaken for teabagging.
(James types in on the computer and we see the Wikipedia article on Mr. Bucket)
Board James: Balls pop out of my mouth. This slogan has proven to be quite humorous and controversial, because of its reference to the male genitalia being close to the bucket's mouth.
(James puts the computer away and he is rested by watching a horror movie on TV. Suddenly, we hear sounds of Mr. Bucket that is alive and walks into the couch. it grows louder and James gets off the couch and touches Mr. Bucket but then hits. He runs into the kitchen where the phone is on the table. James calls in to Mike where he's in at the nearest window)
Motherfucker Mike: Hello?
Board James: Hey.
Motherfucker Mike: Hey.
Motherfucker Mike: Um... did you notice anything weird about that Mr. Bucket?
Motherfucker Mike: Uh... no. Like what?
Board James: Well... it was still, like, moving around, like it was still turned on.
Motherfucker Mike: Well, then obviously it wasn't turned off then.
Board James: Yeah, but the thing is, I was positive that I turned it off.
Motherfucker Mike: Hm. That handle thing with the on/off switch is kinda weird, maybe it just popped back on. Who knows?
Board James: Um... it also sorta, like, came up on to the couch.
Motherfucker Mike: Like, how?
Board James: I don't know--like it climbed up or something, I don't know. I really don't know what's going on, tell you the truth.
Motherfucker Mike: Well, it didn't look like it could do that, but I don't know, maybe, I guess.
Board James: Uh, one last thing: I think it was going for my balls.
Motherfucker Mike: (Both Mike and James laugh on the phone) OK. Yeah. All right, I gotta go.
Board James: OK. All right, I'll see you.
Motherfucker Mike: Bye.
(James hangs up on the phone and he comes back into the couch where Mr. Bucket is lying over. James smiled and he puts away the box where it was located there into the Board Game room, then James is about to get some sleep at the bedroom. Later, back at the board game room, the Mr. Bucket toy has disappeared on the box. Back at bed, it hears sound from Mr. Bucket as James wakes in and he opens up the blanket to see that the boy is still alive. James gasps and lightning sounds began as Mr. Bucket talks in an evil-tone effect)
Mr. Bucket (in a evil tone): Hey, I'm Mr. Bucket!
Board James: Oh, no no no!
Mr. Bucket: It's OK, I don't wanna hurt you, I just wanna suck on your balls!
(Mr. Bucket laughs and lightning sounds is heard again, James goes downstairs and goes back into the kitchen)
Board James: This doesn't make any sense, I turned you off!
Mr. Bucket: Oh, but you turn me on.
(James calls in to Mike again, and again Mike turns the lights on outside at the window)
Motherfucker Mike: Hello?
Board James: Mike, get over here, right now.
Motherfucker Mike: What's going on?
Board James: I was... in bed, the bucket came under the blankets, and it talked to me.
(Mike turned off the lights outside the window and he laughs over at the phone)
Motherfucker Mike: Is this a nightmare you're telling me about?
Board James: I don't know. I really have no idea what's going on here anymore.
Motherfucker Mike: Yeah, I'm looking, uh, at your window upstairs, it's open. You might want to close it because of the rain.
Board James: What like, my bedroom window?
(Mr. Bucket appears outside of the window)
Motherfucker Mike: Yeah.
Board James: OK, just come over here real fast.
Motherfucker Mike: OK. Let me get my shoes and I'll be right over there.
Board James: OK.
(James hangs up the phone again and Mr. Bucket disappears from the window. James looked at the window and we hear the sound of the door opening. We see a dark, scare living room as James went to the doorway entrance and closes the door, Then Mr. Bucket re-appears in a close-up side. He looks at the living room where Mr. Bucket is in there then he walks into the couch. He looked to find that there was nothing until Mr. Bucket jump off the back couch and he falls in and yelled through his finger on Mr. Bucket's mouth.)
Mr. Bucket (in a evil tone): I'm Mr. Bucket.
(Mr. Bucket laughs evily and it painfully gasps as James tries to take out his finger on Mr. Bucket's mouth. he struggles then the toy puts under the couch cushion, he runs in the basement and Mr. Bucket sings the part of the commercial)
Mr. Bucket: ♪ Pop your balls in my mouth, I'm Mr. Bucket ♪
(James locks in the basement door and goes downstairs)
Board James: Fucking balls? I'll get you fucking balls.
(He enters the basement where the Nerd lives in and Mr. Bucket is up on the basement ceiling and James looked there at it is nothing again. Then, it hears a echo on Mr. Bucket's theme song in an evil tone)
Mr. Bucket (singing in echo): ♪ I'm Mr. Bucket, I'm gonna suck on your balls ♪
(He overlooks in the basement and he enters the board game room and we see that the Mr. Bucket box is only a small plastic bag of balls. He opens it but suddenly, Mr. Bucket appears on the basement ceiling again)
Mr. Bucket: I'm Mr. Bucket! Wanna fuck it?
(Mr. Bucket jumps down and James goes down on the floor)
Mr. Bucket: I wanna suck on your balls!
(Mr. Bucket walks into James and he tries to the hit the plastic balls)
Board James: You mean plastic balls?!?! These kind?!?!
Mr. Bucket: No, I mean balls! Testicles! Scrotum! Gonads! Family jewels! Bullets! Cojones! Balls!
Board James: You want your fucking balls? Take your fucking balls! Not my balls!
Mr. Bucket: Balls!
(Mike enters the basement room and we see him holding an umbrella)
Board James: Get away from me! Get away from me you sick, fucked-up freak! Fucking pervert!
Mr. Bucket: I'm gonna suck on your balls!
(Mr. Bucket says Suck on your balls! at repeated times and James throws the last plastic ball and it throws away the small plastic bag)
Board James: Get away from me! Suck his balls!
(Mr. Bucket runs into the other direction and Mike tries to attack the umbrella but the toy jumped in and attacks him)
Mr. Bucket: Balls! B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Scrotum!
(Mike begins to yell on Mr. Bucket)
Motherfucker Mike: OW, MY BALLS!!!
Mr. Bucket: Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Testicles!
Motherfucker Mike: AH, GET OFF!!! GET OFF OF ME!!!
Mr. Bucket: Suck on your balls! Suck on your balls!
(Mike continued yelling and Mr. Bucket continues to sing evily and attacking him.)
Motherfucker Mike: AH, MY BALLS!!! MY BALLS!!! GET OFF ME! AH, YOU FUCKING PERVERT!
(James looks into Mike that Mr. Bucket attacked him once more and it started to sing in an Jingle Bells-themed style. James walked in slowly and tries to get out Mr. Bucket from attacking Mike)
Board James: OH SHIT! OH MY GOD! OH SHIT!
(Mike finished yelling and James puts the Mr. Bucket toy in the water sink. the toy gurgles in the water as Mr. Bucket is about to die)
Board James: DIE! DIE, YOU FUCKING BUCKET!!!
(The toy continued gurgling and stops and Mike is feeling awful, James now looks ambush and angry to hit the Mr. Bucket toy in the sink and it finally stops gurgling with the toy underwater. Mike looks in the sink where Mr. Bucket is dead and James is now seething in disbelief)
Motherfucker Mike: Dude... what the fuck?! What the fuck is going on?
Board James: Well... it's fucking dead now. Except that... anywhere... where there's a Mr. Bucket... nobody... is safe.
(The episode cuts to the end credits as it plays the Mr. Bucket theme song again in the commercial)
Trivia[]
- The Wikipedia page where Board James reads the interpretation of the Slogan "Balls pop out of my mouth" has long since been removed since 2nd June 2013.