The Nerd: This is a special message about something that just changed my life. A game called Ninja Baseball Batman!
The Nerd: That is the best title ever conceived by a human being, or an alien, or whoever or whatever came up with this. Ninja Baseball Batman! Just say it out loud! (The Nerd whispers in on the game title)
The Nerd: Feels amazing, doesn't it? Ninja Baseball Batman. Just when you hear those three words, all these images rush into your mind of ninjas and baseball and Batman. It hits your brain so hard. It's like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! All right. Slow down. I'm okay. Let's see the game.
(Game footage begins as the Nerd is surprised and he takes off the Nerd's glasses as it surprised once again)
The Nerd: Does it live up to the title? It surpasses the title! Even though it doesn't have much to do with ninjas and definitely has nothing to do with Batman, I'm not disappointed. The word Batman simply means a man with a bat. Well, there's more than one so they could have called it Batmen, or they could have just called it Ninja Baseball Players. But no. They knew what they were doing. Calling it Batman was an ingenious marketing ploy. It got me to play and then it hit me in the face with a grand slam atomic bomb blast of video game goodness!
The Nerd: It's a beat 'em up game. You just beat the crap out of everything in sight. Evil baseballs, evil baseball gloves, evil baseball bats holding baseball bats, balls that come together and... What the hell? Is that a flying baseball field?! It's a flying baseball field! So yes, this game is definitely baseball related. And if you can call it a baseball game, it's the best baseball game ever.
The Nerd: Oh my God, I'm getting run over by an airplane. Now I'm inside the plane and guess who the boss is. An airplane. I'm fighting an airplane inside of an airplane! There's also a truck with blue lips, a slot machine going berserk. Furniture flying all over the place and spiky wheels being pushed by cats on skateboards being pushed by little green things. I'm getting attacked by refrigerators, a magic electric vulture Jack-o'-Lantern Grim Reaper. And this thing, I can't describe it. I just can't. And the final boss is like some kind of cyborg version of Babe Ruth.
The Nerd: There's a lot of good beat 'em up games like the Simpsons and Turtles in Time, but this one is totally underrated. Why wasn't this a huge success? Well, it only existed in the arcade and it never came out on a home console. Wow, they really dropped the ball on that one. Supposedly, only 43 arcade units were shipped to North America. That is sad.
(Back to the Nerd on-screen, which is kinda feeling worried)
The Nerd: The world needs to know about Ninja Baseball Batman. But right now, the only way to play it is on an emulator. Or if you happen to have access to one of the arcade units. No, this needs to come out again on a home console or better yet, Xbox Live! Ninja Baseball Batman!
The Nerd: Ninja Baseball Batman!